Its whats inside that counts...ask Pamela Mami

Dear Children

Im proud of you. Often we (the ones who need to use godrej black dye religiously) are chided for being too self-centred and adamant about our generation being better than the subsequent ones..

I concede defeat. Today's yuppies (my grandson Raja taught me that word...thats the maximum he's spoken this week at home) have certainly won my heart with their sense of values.

Aaaa ha! what values, what values..

It all started when Raja was spending all day in front of the combuter. His appa (whom he calls pops) hid behind the curtains one evening to see what he was upto and announced solemnly in between swallowing mounds of rice that night that his boy was into collecting pictures of uh umm...indecent ladies..

I immediately flared up and corrected Srini that in our culture it was wrong to call ladies indecent.

"Parvati, Saraswati, Lakshmi...they are all ladies! They give birth and they take care of the world, dont you dare insult the feminine species, " I told my son with great feeling.

Srini gave me a pained look and said " Amma you dont know what im talking about..The ladies Raja was...er....seeing...were not Indian and certainly not respectable.."

"No lady can be irrespectable Srini, " I cut in.

"Amma! this is between Raja and me. Now, Raja what was Pamela Anderson doing on your screen??!," demanded Srini.

"What???????????????" I shrieked!!

"Did you just say Pamela Anderson??" I continued shrieking

"Yes Amma...I didnt realise you know her...Now be calm..We will talk it out with Raja, "assured Srini.

"How can I be calm??! I am a big fan of that lady and wish there were more like her in India, especially in Tamilnad..silly females cant think of a world beyond silk saris and gold jewellery.." I said.

For a moment no one moved. Srini, Raja and his mom Revathi looked at me shell-shocked. "Amma...are you alright"? Srini asked in a voice that wasnt so concerned when I was in bed for ten days after catching a nasty flu.

"Look Srini, if you dont know who Pamela Anderson is then dont fight unnecessarily with your son, " I said.

"Amma!! I THINK i know! infact im sure i know who Ms Anderson is very well," said Srini with his eyes averting mine.

Sigh. Believe me, its not easy telling your 48 year old son that he doesnt know anything but I have always been a tough parent.

"It all started five years back. Pamela (nice sounding Indian name she has) was out of work. One day she saw that women in that white country of hers were wearing the skin of animals during winter. Immediately she joined an organisation called PETA where she said that its better not to wear any clothes rather than wearing the skin of an animal..." I started.

"Did you know the brave lady withered all criticism to stand up for what she believed in?? And that too in their country where it is very cold. They even have snow, " I informed my audience.

"Amma! Why cant she be a supporter with clothes??" asked Srini.

I shook my head. "Thousands of years ago, when the Kauravas tried to pull Draupadi's sari, Lord Krishna saved her and proved that when you have values, nothing else matters. Just because you do not have clothes in your body doesnt mean you dont have values inside..Gandhiji wore a dhoti all his life..Our rishis almost never wore clothes...

You people judge someone by their clothes and not because of what they are inside..and why do we see Pamela's pictures everywhere? Because inspite of being a foreigner, she is following the footsteps of Lord Krishna in living for a cause, "I said..

"Paati, just like Draupadi, Pamela also has five husbands!, " chipped in my grandson flushed with excitement for having remembered this chapter of Indian mythology.

"See this Srini? Your boy is learning values of Mahabharatha. Instead of rewarding him, you are making him miserable, " I scolded Srini.

Srini flopped down on the sofa. His concerned wife immediately ran in to get him a glass of water.

"I dont know what to say..." said Srini close to a heart-attack.

"How about letting me join that new reality programme-"Splitsville" on MTV, dad???, " asked Raja eagerly.

Seeing my puzzled look, Raja explained. "Its a new reality show where two dudes get to mess around and select two chicks of their choice after having a whaccka time with them.."

Seeing my suspicious eyebrow lifting and his dad getting up to land him a much-deserved slap, Raja said "PAATI!! It seems you didnt understand...Its a new mythological show. Remember how Ram and Lakshman were asked to break bows to win over their queens? Its the same thing backwards...The girls will be asked to perform tasks to win over two very respectable boys...in this case me and some other jackass. In fact the idea has been inspired by Lord Krishna and the Gopis "said Raja sweetly.

As Revathi tried to bring her husband back to consciousness, I went over and hugged Raja. I made a mental note to watch Splitsville...Its high time I stopped watching AXN secretly ( I do that only to keep away my grandchildren) and move to programmes like Splitsville catering to people of my age..

Lou

Iyer Mami